Knot all about me…or maybe it is!

Since it is my birthday, I might as well do what all bloggers do best and write about me, me me! This is really a continuation of my “anniversary blog” which was also all about me, me, me and my thoughts on how I have changed. Today’s blog is about how much I have stayed the same!

A few weeks ago, at the cabin I grabbed some macramé jute and began to tie knots and make a bracelet. Like any good crocheting grandma, I can do it with my eyes closed. You see I came of age in a macramé world. Maybe, it has something to do with the fact that during a time of my life when so much was unraveling, I felt comfort in being able to tie those knots and hold my world together. I would macramé belts. I made wall hangings. I could whip out a pot sling faster than most people can say philodendron (well maybe not). Tying knots was in my soul. …as was a plethora of other creative endeavors. Not only could I macramé—I could decoupage, I could sew, I could make mosaics and I could pour out a lovely set of sand candles to light my bohemian bedroom. My hours were spent creating….creating a world I had some control over. I don’t know when I stopped. I don’t know why I stopped. But somewhere a long the way my world became less of my own creation and more of one thrust upon me. Oh, I digress, it is so easy to do when one is talking about me, me me!

 My little macramé bracelet got me to thinking about those things that are so engraved on our souls, so much a part of our being that while they may be temporarily buried under the cares of life, they are always waiting to reveal themselves, once again, as our truly authentic, genuine, individual selves. There is something freeing about turning fifty, whoops fifty-one, that allows you to slough off the phony facades and dead layers of expectation. And, what I have found you are left with is, basically what you started with, the wide-eyed, the ‘world is my canvas,’ Junior High you ….only much wiser and with better hair.

While the years have changed me, deep down the years have also sheltered me and let me remain the same especially, when it comes to the things I love. My love of books, my love of social justice (I was trick or treating for Unicef long before I went to the halls of the United Nations), my love of cats and sports cars (o.k. don’t laugh unless you are willing to post 8th grade pictures of yourself on the world wide web), my love of the mountains, my love of family, my love of  dancing, my love of writing, my love for my sisters, my love of the truth, my love of swimming, my love of church, my love of hot Arizona nights (that one is burned into my soul),  my love of chocolate and bar-be-ques, my love of the Beatles and Carol King, my tolerance for diversity, my desire to make the world a better place, my insistence on kindness and integrity and the value I put on hard work, —they were all there at McKemy Junior high dressed in a halter top  and bell bottom pants.  In this ever changing, expanding world it is comforting to know that some parts of me, are just me, me, me… always have been and always will be. I think I will go tie a knot.

What parts of the junior high you, you, you are lying right below the surface of your life?

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10 Responses to Knot all about me…or maybe it is!

  1. Heather says:

    I really hate to think that my junior high self is suppressed and might come raging back. I think that I have discovered my true self as I have sloughed off my junior high yearning to be popular facade. But I like my hippie mom, I’m glad you have reconnected with 1972, though if you ever wear something akin to Michael Jackson in “Ben” I will pretend i don’t know you. 🙂

  2. colleendown says:

    Oh, I feel a Halloween costume coming on-when is the party? Speaking of nightmares, there are few greater than Jr. High insecurities, doesn’t matter what generation you live in. But outside of the school walls, don’t you think there is still a “love” of things that is there from a very early age. Like your love of dance, of friends, of books, of justice–I remember the snowball you threw when that lady was mean to Andy, I bet you even had a love of nutritious food clear back in the Crescent View cafeteria!

  3. Jessica Gregory says:

    Mom, you are so in vogue. The seventies are all the rage right now. You might be able to make some money macraming. You could have a stand at Draper days….(Just be sure to bedazzle what every you do for that particular clientele;)
    Hmmmm, I hate thinking about my middle school days too. But I do feel like I am living my scuba barbie dream by going to the Bahama’s and now sailing.
    Geese…How do you get so much symbolism out of life. I am way to concerned with the color of my new rug at the moment. Like always, thanks for forcing me to think:)
    P.S. My book came. I LLLLLLLOVE it:)

    • colleendown says:

      Bling belts to match the bling butts!! There is a business idea! Does anyone even sell macrame jute anymore? I forgot all about Scuba Barbie but never have I forgotten the beach baby room–at least you have been able to spend many an hour in your dream spot this summer. I think the fact you are concerned about your new rug is very telling (as is the hours in the middle of the night you spent arranging your shelves–Katelyn told me) You make the world beautiful and coordinated–just like you were doing in 7th grade!

  4. Cheryl says:

    I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I still do math! I guess that’s a carry over from junior high, right? I have definitely always carried my love of people, my love of travel and seeing new places/things, and my sense of rule keeping. I’ve always been a rule keeper and doubt that will change any time soon. And, I guess I’ve always been one who wants to experience a lot, but I don’t need to be the best or be an expert at everything — I often just want to try it. Having said that, though, makes me remember that I hated roller coasters then and I still hate them now. I guess some things don’t change…..

  5. colleendown says:

    Slightly embarrassed?? I am extremely impressed that you do math! I am impressed at anyone who remembers any math. And how did I not know you hated rollercoasters–just like me–I guess we have never ridden one together–only dropped out of the sky on a zip line! I guess we all developed that sense of travel, sitting in O’Hare long before it cost $100 each way to be escorted around, today’s kids are so pampered!

  6. Barbara Witzke says:

    Colleen–Loved your comments–I can’t remember “my” junior high years (Oh that’s right–I went from grade school(8th grade to high school (Freshman)!

  7. colleendown says:

    Well now that would be the subject of a whole new post–“What to do when you miss the Jr. High years”–It must be like those kids they have to “rebirth” or teach to crawl again–we may just have to take you back there!

  8. Cathy G. says:

    I read your blog and have been thinking about it for days! Of course, your writing is so good and eloquent that I am sure I must be wrong if I disagree! However, when I think back to jr. high, I guess I was too busy within the school walls and what happened there that I wasn’t developing into the person I would be the rest of my life! I can’t do a cheer jump to save my life and my body does not bend in the ways it used to. Maybe I was a late bloomer because I really don’t think I figured much of anything out until into my 30’s! Going back to jr. high really is my biggest nightmare!

  9. colleendown says:

    Well I can see I have the nightmares rolling here–maybe in a couple more years everyone may get a little more nostalgic….but then of course maybe Mckemy was just a little more hip than whatever that school in KY was called! Maybe I see the problem 🙂 And by the way you can still bend in ways that none of the rest of us can!

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